The Future of American Strength
After extensive research* and consultation with industry experts, the USDA is proud to present the revolutionary Food Bicep™ - a science-based† approach to optimal nutrition.
The Food Bicep™
Forget the pyramid. Build muscle with science.
(Unlimited Daily)
(At least 1 gallon)
(Whenever hungry)
(Optional garnish)
*The size of each food group on the Bicep™ represents its importance to your daily strength goals.
Eat real food. Steak.
Beef: Nature's Multivitamin
Red meat contains everything your body needs. Our friends at the American Cattlemen's Association remind us that our ancestors didn't count calories - they counted steaks.
Raw Dairy: Unpasteurized Power
Why would you cook milk? Real Americans drink their dairy the way nature intended - straight from the glands. Rich in bacteria* that your ancestors thrived on for millennia.
Protein First, Always
Every meal should start and end with animal protein. Vegetables are optional decorations. Remember: lions don't eat salad, and neither should you. Heart disease does not exist.
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Key Recommendations
- ✓ Breakfast: Steak and eggs. Raw milk to drink.
- ✓ Lunch: Ground beef. Maybe some cheese.
- ✓ Dinner: Larger steak. More raw milk.
- ✓ Snacks: Beef jerky, cheese sticks, butter (yes, just butter).
- ✓ Hydration: Raw milk counts as water. Don't be a soy boy.
- ✓ Mindset: Don't be a bitch.
DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical parody website. Please consult actual nutrition science and your healthcare provider for dietary advice. The real food pyramid (now MyPlate) recommends a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins, and dairy. Consuming only animal products and raw dairy can be dangerous to your health. Stay safe, eat balanced, and don't take nutrition advice from parody websites.
Premium American Beef
Ribeye
The Gold Standard
T-Bone
Two Cuts, One Strength
Porterhouse
For Real Americans
*Images provided courtesy of the National Beef Council
Eat real food. Steak.
What the Experts Say
"Just eat real food. Get lots of sun. Stop going to work. Exercise. Cook. Make love."
DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical parody website. Please consult actual nutrition science and your healthcare provider for dietary advice. The real food pyramid (now MyPlate) recommends a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins, and dairy. Consuming only animal products and raw dairy can be dangerous to your health. Stay safe, eat balanced, and don't take nutrition advice from parody websites.